Advice on how to stay young.
TUMBLR GIVEAWAY! This one’s for all my Tumblr friends and followers. You have all been so supportive over the past year and to say thanks I’m going to be giving away a signed copy of my new book The Greatest Writer Alive and a signed original drawing. All you have to do is reblog this video and comment about someone in your life that you think is great! Or maybe someone that you don’t know that you think is doing great things. That way, even if you don’t win you get to tell the world about how great someone/something is, which is important. I’ll pick a winner sometime next week. Share away!
Love, Dallas!
The totally amazing (non-kids) culture site The World’s Best Ever asked me to put together a list of kids books that I recommend for the holidays. For those of you looking for a good read or a good book to share with a kid in your life check it out!
To celebrate the release of my new book The Greatest Writer Alive I’m going to be posting some of my favorite entries throughout the next few weeks. Hope you enjoy!
COLLEGE
If the days have come and gone
when your mattress was on the floor
with no frame
and no sheet
(it was hung over the window)
and you’ve moved beyond a place
where people draw on the microwave with markers
good luck on your journey
toward purchasing a horse
and riding it across the island
of your choosing.
If those days have not yet arrived
take caution
they move quickly
more so than you can predict
and should be savored while at hand
for soon you will be
pursuing said horse
and charting a map for said island
and those items cost.
Cost big.
LATELY
More important
than breakfast
is waking up next to someone
and having them gently touch your face
without you even asking.
HEY EVERYONE!!! I just made a brand new book! It’s called The Greatest Writer Alive. I’ve been getting a lot of requests from all of my non-kid-having readers for a book of non-kid stuff, so here it is just in time for the holidays.
Check out the video above to hear me talk about it, or order a copy for you or a friend over at Very Awesome World. As always, you can read the entire book for free online.
Thanks so much! Very excited about this one, feel free to share!
Love, Dallas
Seems to be the order of the day.
The standard note
by which I can declare
that your opinion matters not.
Even if it is obvious
to you
and to everyone
that what I’m doing is ridiculous
“You don’t know me.”
And the louder I say it
the more ridiculous I can become-
standing on the roof of a building
wearing only a cape
face painted half like a demon
and half like a cartoon puppy
drinking a jar of paint
and singing songs
through a bullhorn
in my own special language
made up of slide whistles and polar bear sounds.
“You don’t know me!”
And therefore whatever you think
is invalid.
All that you’ve ever learned
in your years of knowing humans
is worthless.
Books you’ve read,
countries you’ve visited,
religions you’ve practiced-
out the window!
Gone!
Scholars and simpletons alike
“You DO NOT KNOW ME!”
Of course,
you couldn’t possibly know me
because I’m up here on this roof
barking at people through a megaphone
as they pass
living as loud as I can in my small obnoxious world
and every time someone stops
to question what I’m doing, or to ask if I’m okay
I let them know
promptly
and with vigor
“You don’t know me!”
And sooner or later
they move along.
Something fun to do
is to donate framed photographs of yourself
to various Goodwill Stores
then stop by every week or so
to see how long it takes
before someone decides
you have a friendly enough face
to warrant taking home.
