UPGRADE
UPGRADE
You’ve been taking pictures
of the same subject for so long
switching film
cameras
computers
budgets
everything different
except the model.
Dallas Clayton
CHAIN GANG
CHAIN GANG
Escaping from prison
in this day and age
is an amazing feat
and deserves, I feel,
at least some recognition
on the part of the justice system
if you are apprehended again
and returned to the slammer.
VOCABULARY
VOCABULARY
Whether I like it or not
when I die
most people will probably just say
“Bummer.”
CHEETAH JEFF
CHEETAH JEFF
My son
in the bathtub
asked for a story
and so I sat beside him
on the floor
and made up a tale
about a cheetah
named Jeff
who had self-confidence issues
because he wasn’t very fast.
As stories go,
I suspect mine was cribbed
from years of television,
tales of morality,
and sporting events
I’d watched in my youth
which always finished with the crowd going wild
and someone on someone else’s shoulders.
Strange thing though,
was as I told it
I could see his young brain getting lost
in the possibilities
the same way you might get lost in a good song
and drive ten minutes out of your way
without even realizing
you were supposed to be at work.
And so
I added more
bells and whistles,
twists and turns,
near misses and upsets,
until finally
as Cheetah Jeff was on his last lap
at the Seventeenth Annual World Cheetah Championships
and about to win the gold medal
I started to tear up a bit-
Yes, I made myself cry
with my own made up story
about a fake cheetah
and a fake race
in the far off fake jungle.
This had never happened to me before
and after having finished
I was left to tuck my boy into bed
and consider the options:
A: I am a better storyteller than I previously imagined.
B: I am a more of a crier than I ever knew.
C: There are greater forces at work here.
I will let you know the answer
as soon as it’s clear.
SMALL
SMALL
Prize fighter
captain of industry
great and powerful ruler
remember
there was a day
not too far back
when someone
who loved you
washed you in a sink
just like an empty cereal bowl.
HOLY
HOLY
Even the most devout Christians
fear the day
that they might lose it
buy and old Airstream trailer
paint it up and down
with crooked drawings of jesus
and head out across the country
to preach the truckstop gospel
with no one but an old grey dog to keep them company.
PERSONALITY TEST
PERSONALITY TEST
If you really want to see who your friends are
you should have a birthday party
that requires climbing over a fence
to get there.
HUMAN RELATIONS
HUMAN RELATIONS
Certain people refer to this water
as the Persian Gulf
others the Arabian Gulf.
It is a topic of much regional debate.
To be clear
the Gulf itself
does not care what it is called
and continues to ebb and flow
at its own pace.
A COMPETITION BEGINS
A COMPETITION BEGINS
One day a man ate dinner
at a table
all alone
and thought
about trying to capture the world record
for wearing a beard made out of live bees.
Shortly thereafter
another man sat at a table
and decided to break that record.
THE VIEW
THE VIEW
If you are standing on a rooftop
you are probably up to no good
or have a job
that you’d like to quit
but can’t
because you spent too much of your life
being up to no good.
MUSICIAN
MUSICIAN
To have a song you wrote
listed in the jukebox
of a restaurant
your grandfather ate at
reminds you of a time
when you could stand on your tip toes
looking up at a grown man
and hug him tight around the pants leg
wondering what it would feel like
to be invincible.
LONG DAYS
LONG DAYS
You live your life
like a young couple
stealing tropical fish
from an exotic pet store
without any thought
of what to do with the bag
once a getaway is made.
PAST
PAST
Once
the demand for roller skating
was so high
that buildings were erected
by the thousands
all across the land
just so people
could ride around in circles
talking to each other
over the din of terrible music
washed in alternating
colored lights.